In anticipation of my new book, The Hitchhiker, I will be interviewing some of its characters here during my monthly posts. Today I have invited Ainsley Benton, a former army brat who has recently been recruited by the FBI’s Department of Interagency Investigations. Thanks for joining us, Ainsley!
You do know you’re talking to yourself, right?
No, I’m speaking to a fictional character and all those who follow this blog.
If you say so.
I do. So, Ainsley, tell us about your new job.
I am a records clerk for the old files the FBI hasn’t had time to put into the computer yet. I also substitute teach for their Juvenile Training Department, otherwise known as ‘the brood of vipers.’ Really they’re just smart kids who like to torture their teachers. Oh, and I am a sketch artist for their Department of Interagency Investigations.
Yes, tell us about the DII.
I don’t think the public is really supposed to know about us.
Right, and that might be a problem if you weren’t a work of fiction.
Touché. So we’re like the backward X-Files. Instead of regular people solving bizarre cases, we’re bizarre people solving normal cases. And the only sketches I am capable of are stick figures. My DNA hitches a ride on other people’s central nervous systems, which makes me a human surveillance device. That’s my real job with the FBI.
I see, and how’s that working out for you?
Well, it’s not boring.
Do you see yourself sticking it out with the FBI then?
I can’t even commit to a cell phone plan. And are you sure ‘sticking it out’ is a good choice of words? Sounds kinda dirty.
Okay, that’s all for now, folks. Join me next month for an interview with the DII’s analyst, Dylan Miller.